Armitage Shanks
Tuesday
  Slut management -


Slut management is basically; the management of sluts. You get a trade license for managing sluts, hire sluts, and manage their slutty attitude. Contrary to popular belief, sluts can be men, women or specific types of farm animals. Chickens, gooses, ducks and horses make good sluts. If you can get your hands on a small to medium sized ferrit, they make great sluts as well. I am not saying this because of comic relief. Farm animals by nature are obedient and therefore, slutty. Rebelious things don't make good sluts.

Slut management is a lucrative business and a great way to start a conversation with hot bitches.

Hot bitch: "Wow, your hot. What do you do for a living? I'm sure you have a sweet job."
Kabooke Quantum Fighter: "I do have a sweet job. How did you know?"
HB: "Well, your obviously hot as hell, your awesome in your Star Wars theme porn movie 'Return of the Japseye,' and you have the biggest wang I have EVER seen."
KQF: "Bitch Please!"
HB: "Seriously. You rock my ovaries."
KQF: "Slick."
{long pause)
HB: "So what do you do?"
KQF: "I manage sluts."
HB: "You manage sluts?!"
KQF: "That's right."
HB: "What does that mean?"
KQF: "Well, I get a slut management trade license, hire sluts and manage their slutty attitude."
HB: "That sounds interesting. Can I join?"
KQF: "Depends. Are you slutty?"
HB: "Like you wouldn't believe. Here...let me show you."

This is when she proceeds to unzip your pants and tounge your balls. Good fun, good coversation and a great dinner table story.

You need to control your overheads and cashflow from the beggining and make sure your sluts are in top form. This usually entails feeding them lots of fibre and protein and cutting back on carbohydrates. I recommend a strict diet of barley, cornflakes and Mexican tapas.

Keep the men, women and animals seperate from each other as they can get rowdy when mixed up. Make sure they smell good and bathe once a week with lemon lime body wash with Ginko extract. When they're out doing their slutty duties, make sure to monitor them with a shock collar and a camera pen. If they try to run or hide, shock them. Some may choose to alos have a shock anal probe to entice their sluts. This is not recommended unless you want flatulent sluts on your hands.
Take them to an art or wax museum every week to give them an appreciation for culture. Do not get them involved with religious groups, political affiliations or local cults as this will make them cranky and pensive.
If you need them to work long hours without complaining, give them coffee beans and tic tacs to chew on. Sluts can be put to work for 20 out of the 24 hrs in a day if treated right and can be exported with only a 5% duty to all commonwealth countries (except the democratic republic of Congo) and Fedex with minimal shipping and handling charges.
I have setup an email address for anyone that wants to partner with me in my next venture

"Worldwide sluts." It's 'worldwidesluts@gmail.com'

Please let me know of any questions, quries of suggestions you may have on my business.

Regards;

KQF



 
Comments:
you are officially the most retarded person i know.

and i mean that in the best way possible.

belated happy birthday, gandu!
 
are you franchising?
 
i will use "you rock my ovaries" as an official pick-up line. thank you.
 
Is there a fee?
 
Good Luck... if nothing works out for me i might enroll... i may have potential ppl for hire... :)
 
you're going missing again.
 
yep, ya still are.
 
hey gandu! why've you disappeared??

btw, i found the perfect woman for you. i've put up her pic on my site, have a look and then we'll hunt her down together so that you can settle into marital bliss like the rest of your friends!
 
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