Armitage Shanks
  London baby, yaaa!

Oh...MY...GOD...London is the greatest town ever! All that stuff about bad weather and worse food...well ya it's true most of the time. But when I went this time the weather was fabulous (apart from some days where it hailed and rained) but that was ok cause I was staying at the slickest of pads in Canary Wharf and doing the dirty :)
So I got to London, and then my best friend came and then my other best friend came and then we all literally, got fucked. At first we stuck around London for like 3 days, went to the National Gallery, the Natural History museum, the Satchi museum, the Tate Modern Art Gallery (which is amazing by the way).
After the first couple of days we went up to Cambridge to meet our friend, the PhD in Genetics who went to Cambridge. Ya, hes a genius. Now that town is literally...retarded. It is older than the United States. It was founded in the 14th century I think. Intresting fact about is called that because the river Cam runs through it and they built a bridge over. No wonder the Brits rock my socks! So simple, so effective.
Anyways we did a bunch of stuff there, we went to Trinity college and one of the oldest libraries in the world and stood where Newton figured out the speed of sound! Now if that doesn't rule I really dont know what does. AND THEN we went favourite new thing to do! It is like going on a Gondola ride in Venice (which I have also done by the way) but different. Your on this kayak kind of thing, and you get this big stick (which I know all about ladies...awwwwwwwwrite!) and you push the stick down to the bottom of the river to move around. Your allowed to punt yourself if you are skillfull and sexy enough, which is me in a nutshell really. I was an ace at it. We went down the river through Cambridge university, it was a genius cloudy afternoon, and then my PhD friend pulled out a wittle present. Low and behold, it was a spliffy!! EEEE! I think I peed myself a little bit. So we waded down this river, me and my mates, with me as first captain steering our vessel and we smoked joints and drank stella artois and enjoyed every second of it. It was like a little piece of heaven. That night we went to a little club/bar in Cambridge, got hideously drunk and some chick picked me up. We exchanged numbers and she said she'd call me when she got into London.
Anyways, we left the next day back to London. The day after that we went to Bournemoth, which is this little town by the south coast of England where one of my other best friends lives. That was amazing. We went to this house party where everyone was white but it was kool cause we got drunk and mingled with some English country folk. They were like, lets goto a bush party and we were like less do it but then I kinda passed out from being uber-drunk. The next day we went to this even littler town called Kimmerage by the coast and it was...disgusting. It is probably the prettiest view I have ever seen. We stood on a cliff that overlooked the sea and there were rolling hills and cliffs and hot English girls. Again, heaven, and then some.
The last few days in London were reserved for inebriation on a professional level. We were chauffered around in these awesome Mercs...the one day we went to pick up our supply of...ahem...goodies, we had an S320 pick us up. Ok we're not pretentious bastards but then deal in London is that the black cabs run on meters. Ironically these cabs turn out to be more expensive than this Mercedes service which gives you a flat rate. As such we were being driven around in Mercs the whole time we were there. So slick.
Anyways that is my trip in a nutshell. Alot of other stuff happened, random stuff, but maybe in another post. Now I am back home and back to work..sort of.
I recommend London to everyone...I plan to go back in the summer possibly, the weather is amazing then init?!? Has anyone else been there recently? You know you want to. I want an excuse to talk about it more! Did I mention, J'ADORE LONDRES!
Harro! Please. Come in. You look fab - o -lus! So hot right now. Have a fiddle around. Relieve your troubled self. Just check out the title of the page? Where've you seen that before? Hmmmm? Slouch right into that chair. Scratch what needs scratching. Smell what needs smelling. Enjoy the show!

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Location: Browntown

I rule all day everyday. I rule 100% 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. However, every four years, during a leap year I take one day off to rule 99%. If you want to challenge my ruling capacities, that is the only day to duel me to rule. Otherwise, I go back to regular ruling. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop ruling. I could rule everything in two words or less. If you'd like to see me in action, I will rule... all over your face.

This how I do

This who I roll wid