Armitage Shanks
Saturday
  Death Cab for Cutie-


What an epic string of words. 'Death Cab for Cutie.' Its got a chi flow to it.
What does it mean? Who knows. Where would it be relevant? Sao Paolo maybe.
Oh yaais,I bought meself a wittle toy.
Behold... the Infiniti FX 35!



Well, thats the FX45, but mine looks exactly the same cept the engine is different.
Yep, thats ma gurl right thar. She sits on a coupla 20's, gots aV6 3.2 litre mafucker unda da hooood, YOU KNOOOOOOW!!!
I think I'm gonna call her Rachel McAdams only because I know Rachel would love to ride wid me in this filthy yet tender car.
Also on my mind past few weeks...WHAT THE FUCK?
What the fuck is going on on this shithead planet? Hurricane Katrina, Rita and now Wilma. Sounds like a sweeps episode of Three's Company!
And then, goddamn the godamned, a fucking 7.6 earthquake in Pakistan! (Thats why the shaking flash image at the top of the post te he he).
Right, you must all understand, this area of Pakistan that got hit is the most chilled out, scenic motherfucker on the planet. People that live there have a pulse 20% slower than the rest of ours. Just chillllliin to the next episode.
Fresh air, crystal clear water, the tastiest fruit, pretty ladies, and the friendliest people...hard to believe, but I'm telling you, it is slick slick slick.
And then, if God isn't having enough of a pinball challenge with these plebians, he decides to up the ante and give em a nice earth shaking boot. Talk about being on the recieving end of the boot. These guys are all fasting this month, no eating, drinking, smoking or fucking, the whole month. In fact, they aren't even thinking about fucking...and that shit is near impossible. So just as little Nayla is reciting her pages from the Quran, hungry, thirsty and cold, the ground beneath her begins to shake and ultimately caves away.
I have never experienced an earthquake myself but can only imagine the extent of the mindFUCK it can cause. Can you imagine?? Doubt it.
We all walk the Earth. If that motherfucker starts to cave under you, one of the few 100% constants in your life that you depend on so much that you don't even think about thinking about it, that's really gotta fuck with your cranium. Way to fucking shake a dudes faith...literally! I mean, the profundity of the situation is mind boggling...the month of faith, devotion and prayer goes to hell. And these people pray for really simple things,

'God, forgive me for my sins, keep my family healthy, give my children a good education, grant me a passage to heaven.' And them boom. What do they get in return.
A fucking earthquake!
I'm not going on an anti-God crusade, its just that I know how diffcult fasting is. This month is taxing and is a true testament to the religion. I haven't heard of any other organized religion where people devote a whole month to prayer and starvation. Christians have lent or something, it is similar I think but I don't think its for a month.
To round off, the other day my friend was telling me all the seismic activity has ignited a rumble in the jungle in northern Pakistan as well. Some sleeping volcanoes got a tad bit of a wake up call and have started hooting, hooooting away. So it may be possible that a couple fucking volcanoes might go off there. Lovely.
I think fuck sending em food, medicine and tents. I say drop tonnes of party hats, some rodeo clowns, a couple of circus animals, one or two langoor monkeys and a couple of gallons jack and coke. Hell I'll put on a tutu and do the dandia there.

Anyway, I wish the best for those dudes, truly. They really deserve a break.
 
Harro! Please. Come in. You look fab - o -lus! So hot right now. Have a fiddle around. Relieve your troubled self. Just check out the title of the page? Where've you seen that before? Hmmmm? Slouch right into that chair. Scratch what needs scratching. Smell what needs smelling. Enjoy the show!

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I rule all day everyday. I rule 100% 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. However, every four years, during a leap year I take one day off to rule 99%. If you want to challenge my ruling capacities, that is the only day to duel me to rule. Otherwise, I go back to regular ruling. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop ruling. I could rule everything in two words or less. If you'd like to see me in action, I will rule... all over your face.

This how I do

This who I roll wid