Armitage Shanks
  The Matrix-

The other night my buddy and I were driving around trying to find a place to enjoy the genius weather that night and have a couple of drinks. Turned out every place we went to everyone had the same idea, tons of goons in every bar, sitting outside and doing what I should be doing. So we decided to go back to his, pop open some Hennesey and JD and do it up. I am starting to really enjoy Hennesey once I learnt that the trick is to take small sips, roll it around under your tounge and smoke a tasty monte cristo fine cut. It sounds quite regal but it really is quite slick once you get accustomed to the jet fuel taste.
Anyways, we ended up getting progressively more and more sloshed and then I mentioned for the millionth time how unbelieveably epic all three matrix movies were. He whole heartedly agreed and we proceeded to talk about it again for the next two hours, without interruption.
We tried to look at it objectively this time and tried to figure out if the Wachowski brothers actually understood the mega implications of this piece of cinematic history. The core premise of these movies is about a dual reality, a computer simulation that has fooled the majority of the human population. But once you start to ponder the process by which this program works is where the infinte loops kick in. One of the aspects which confused me is that the program only uses humans as their energy source after the humans cut off their primary source of energy, the sun. All of this is much better explained in the Animatrix episode titled The Second Renaissance part 1.
Why is it they do not use the many other forms of thermal, kinetic and electric energy that can be sourced from all the animals (and plants) on earth. We realized that a being needs to be concious to emit a certain level of energy which really explained why there was in fact a simulation to make humans believe that they were in modern day reality. Why not just have humans as fuel cells without implementing another reality for them? Wouldn't that save time and evergy for the machines? The simple answer is: a comatose patient usually dies within a week and his/her energy output is minimal as there is minimal brain or body activity. Radiation is the emission of heat from the body in the form of waves, a process responsible for half of all heat lost by the body. For this an intake of glucose and oxygen is needed which comatose patients are capable of, but the distribution of these things are (depending on what stage of coma) inefficient.
This is why everyone in the matrix had to be in a constant state of awareness of reality, because if they weren't they would literally be as useful as a dead battery.
It is the similar for animals. As far as we know they do not have a conscience. Again this point has been debated throughout the centuries but from a quantitative and qualitative point of view, it would seem as if they do not really have an defined conscience i.e. the knowledge of ones thoughts and actions and the reprucussions of those actions, both in the long and short term. In reference to the matrix, they would not be effective sources of energy as the matrix could not write a program for a monkey, elephant or a platypus for them to believe they are in their own reality whilst delivering the same output of energy in the machine world.
Another reason that humans are cultivated for their energy is because they multiply exponentionally. It is relatively easy for the machines to fertilize a human egg and incubate it to maturity without much effort. Agent Smith tears this shit apart with this legendary quote:

'I would like to share a revelation with you, that I had, during my time here. It came to me when I was trying to classify your species. I found out that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with its surrounding enviroment. But you humans do not. Instead, you multiply, until every living thing is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet, that follows the same pattern, do you know what it is? A virus. You humans are a disease, a cancer on this earth, you're a plague. And we, are the cure.'
Pure genius. It makes sense why the machines would manufacture and use our energy instead of any other living organism. A lot more is going to be said about these ideas in the coming weeks. Any valid commentary is welcome.

  Views and reviews-

Firstly, I finished Ninja Gaiden (by Tecmo). How much kooler can 1 guy be? I smell great (new body wash with ginko extract, sweeeeeeeeeeet), talk about funky shit and I'm a ninja, cause this game is so fucking hard, you have to be a ninja to complete it. The other day a fly came and sat near my soup and I totally sliced him in half with my elbow.
There are absolutely no cheats to this game and it starts at normal difficulty so if anyone ever tells me its easy or they 'finished it in like two days dude' I am going to flying sparrow kick them in the kidney. It took me a month and a bit to finish and gave some serious mental anguish. However, it is by far, by faaaaaaaar the best first person ass kicking game ever made. It is exclusively for the Xbox so therefore 90% of you fairies can't play it cause you have lame ps2s that are so 2001.
The basic premise is that you are Ryu Hayabusa who is the exalted leader of the ancient Dragon Lineage, now known as the Hayabusa Ninja Clan. You carry the infamous Dragon Sword, that is so powerful and hot that it can split a solitary pube into dozens of slices of fresh pineapple and you wouldn't even know it.
It is very much like the old Ninja Gaiden series for the SNES that were so popular back in the day (and by back in the day I mean mid ninties, when gameplay was what it was all about). The only difference is that this one KICKS ASS! The graphics (and the art) are enough to cream yourself for the entire week. So smooth, so crisp and so fast, no wonder it wasn't released on the ps2. Ryu looks like a true ninja, fully black, pumped like a bastard and equipped with all the ninja goodies like shuriken (ninja stars), nunchukos, vigoriaan flails (nunchukos with hardcore blades on the end to rip many new oriphuses) war hammer and many other dirty dirty weapons. The other thing about this game that makes me touch myself all over is that it has archery! Instead of using automatic pistols and rifles with auto aim which every other game in this category has, Ryu does it up ninja stylee with a bow and arrow, and I completely condone archery to be one of the slicker forms of hunting, and romance.
You also use many forms of ninpo (ninja magic) that range from lightning attacks, ice attacks and the all mighty fireball attacks that can help to eliminate those fucking muppets that think they can fuck wid you. You are a ninja damn it!
There all sorts of baddies in this game, dragons, dinosours, spider ninjas, vigorian emperors, the fucking devil. But no one can step up to Ryu cause he is the shit and will slice and dice their monkey ass. Anyways I can go on and on about this game for another month cause there is so much to tell but I just want to re-iterate that it is very different to most of the bet-em-up titles out there. The save points are few and far between so you have to carry on with your mission for a while sometimes, money is also scarce and equipment (like elixirs of life, devil elixirs) which are life and magic potions are also not so common. Alot of foresight and long term planning is needed for this game to complete and you really have to be quick. There is no time to admire the scenery, just slash, whirl and slap the bitches that come in your way. Alma is the hardest wench in the game (level 6 boss), it took me a week just to kill that skank and I almost gave up. But the dragon ninja star stuck deep inside my anus at birth started to rotate incessently and told me to pick up that controller and slash and sodomize her only the way a ninja would.
I saw shark tale. It rooled quite a bit. They caught De Niro so well, I was falbbergasted. I didn't know about having the main guy as a brother, although the mc hammer dance was quite rad.
Ok over and out. If anyone wants any tips on NG lemme know, I am now a master ninja and can solve all your ninja problems.
Harro! Please. Come in. You look fab - o -lus! So hot right now. Have a fiddle around. Relieve your troubled self. Just check out the title of the page? Where've you seen that before? Hmmmm? Slouch right into that chair. Scratch what needs scratching. Smell what needs smelling. Enjoy the show!

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Location: Browntown

I rule all day everyday. I rule 100% 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. However, every four years, during a leap year I take one day off to rule 99%. If you want to challenge my ruling capacities, that is the only day to duel me to rule. Otherwise, I go back to regular ruling. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop ruling. I could rule everything in two words or less. If you'd like to see me in action, I will rule... all over your face.

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