Armitage Shanks
Monday
  Endo or exo?


The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question -

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.




2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.





So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

This is only one sexy theory. If you have any other sexy theories, or theories that aren't sexy (but make them sexy if you can) then please let me know.
This is a discussion that is imperative to global chemistry.

ps: Kudos to Sean S for forwarding this sexy puzzle to me.

I will solve it, with my internet nerds!
 
Comments:
Studying of the works of Professors Stanley, Simmons, Frehley and Criss (School of Rock)provides some kind of answer to this quandary. In particular their thesis entitled 'Hotter than hell' (Stanley et al 1974)in which they expound the theory that Hell is in fact cooler than a lady kebab. eg. "Hot hot hotter than Hell,you know she's gonna leave you well done.(burn you like the midday sun)"
If this is then coupled with the thesis "Stone cold" (Profs Blackmore, Glover and Turner,1982)and "Cold as ice" (Jones&Graham, 1977)we see that said lady parts are in fact significantly colder than previously believed, so much so as to leave a man in "A deep freeze".
We must therefore conclude that Hell is indeed a cold place and Endothermic in nature. Much like the common cunt which relies on friction to create heat for it to absorb. God bless em all.
 
lol, dang ur good with your citations manny. music freak. 8-)

kabooke - stop posting forwards! :P
the super heroes pic u have up for hell is soooooooooooooooooooo lame, it coudlnt possibly be a cool place to be in.
 
All the freaky people make the beauty of the world
 
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