Armitage Shanks
Monday
  MSN Turds-

Well I'm sure a lot of you baddus use MSN. It is an invaluable tool to keep in touch and laugh, cry or swear at people through various flashy (and erotic) emoticons. Most people are kool on msn, they keep one name, either their real name or a trendy ass nick that they stick with for many years so that the turds can recongize their koolness. But offcourse there are the 'attention whores,' that pretend to be away, busy, keep changing their name or tell everyone that they are buttering some toast.
First off, if you fucking busy then don't log onto msn and tell people you are busy! Such an attention whore. 'Lookit me, I am a turd and want everyone to see that I am actually, a turd. A common msn turd will post; "busy 'doing huge project for school, do not msg me or I'll tell you to fuck off!'" I hate these cocks the most. If you are so busy, why bother logging on? Whenever I see these anuses online, I message them a million times and tell them that they suck balls and need to be dragon kicked every morning when they wake up. Busy my ass. They're just waiting for some juicy girl that they like to log on so that she will message and be like 'hey you, whatcha doing, you didn't call today, blah blah..' and they'll be like 'umm, no, I am too busy and too much of a flaming homosexual to reply. I have a big paper due but really I am watching Spongebob and picking my ass. Try again next time.' Yaaiss, now the girl thinks you are soo kool and busy. These people are legendary dickheads. I would love to plant remote mines all around their computers so that when they say they are busy, they are reallly busy, trying not to move a muscle or pass wind and blow themselves a new asshole.
Ok, then theres the name changers. Attention whores again. They change their name literally every 20 minutes according to which video game or movie they've been playing/watching and think the protagonist is just like them. Losers. No one cares that you think you are like Blanka or Tony Montana cause you smoke two spliffs and assume if you change your name on msn, people will think your slick. Hell no. It takes years of intensive training and gigantic nads to become slick.
And then there are the real fudgepackers that like to tell the world exactly what they're doing. Girls are quite partial to this form of buggery and might have things like 'Cutie Pony Puff gurrl tee hee - doing her nails and on the phone. If you are trying to call, call me at home cause I am so popular and pretty and and love the colour pink.' Holy shit, where is my rifle and my Cannibal Corpse cd. I will show them what my favourite colour is. If you want to declare to the world that you are such a waste of space you should take an add out in the classifieds, you will get far more attention. If you have just been cured of Lupus or have recently finished your tour of Iraq, then by all means tell us all about it, all ears. But if your having trouble saving a document on word or want to tell everyone on your list that you are having trouble with your shower curtains then no one really gives a toss.
 
Comments:
You are fucking hilarious. Go find me on MSN and add me, sucka.

mags25@hotmail.com
 
i concur.
 
Thanks for the heads up on my site. I did some adobe magic and hope I fixed it. Will you check it and see if it loads faster?

Are you using Firefox? Because you should.
 
Hey I thought I'd take a second from my WAY TOO IMPORTANT life, put down my BIG PROJECT and tell you to FUCK OFF I'M BUSY buttering toast.

Great post
 
Too damn funny, man.
 
Man - I couldn't agree more. Like those girls that go into forums just to tell everyone they're a hot girl.
 
You caught my attenion!
 
*attention
 
Have my babies? Or halve them, even.

I would give you my MSN screen name but I don't want random internet goons IMing me.

Actually, I do. Just not THESE goons.
 
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