Armitage Shanks
  Views and reviews-

Firstly, I finished Ninja Gaiden (by Tecmo). How much kooler can 1 guy be? I smell great (new body wash with ginko extract, sweeeeeeeeeeet), talk about funky shit and I'm a ninja, cause this game is so fucking hard, you have to be a ninja to complete it. The other day a fly came and sat near my soup and I totally sliced him in half with my elbow.
There are absolutely no cheats to this game and it starts at normal difficulty so if anyone ever tells me its easy or they 'finished it in like two days dude' I am going to flying sparrow kick them in the kidney. It took me a month and a bit to finish and gave some serious mental anguish. However, it is by far, by faaaaaaaar the best first person ass kicking game ever made. It is exclusively for the Xbox so therefore 90% of you fairies can't play it cause you have lame ps2s that are so 2001.
The basic premise is that you are Ryu Hayabusa who is the exalted leader of the ancient Dragon Lineage, now known as the Hayabusa Ninja Clan. You carry the infamous Dragon Sword, that is so powerful and hot that it can split a solitary pube into dozens of slices of fresh pineapple and you wouldn't even know it.
It is very much like the old Ninja Gaiden series for the SNES that were so popular back in the day (and by back in the day I mean mid ninties, when gameplay was what it was all about). The only difference is that this one KICKS ASS! The graphics (and the art) are enough to cream yourself for the entire week. So smooth, so crisp and so fast, no wonder it wasn't released on the ps2. Ryu looks like a true ninja, fully black, pumped like a bastard and equipped with all the ninja goodies like shuriken (ninja stars), nunchukos, vigoriaan flails (nunchukos with hardcore blades on the end to rip many new oriphuses) war hammer and many other dirty dirty weapons. The other thing about this game that makes me touch myself all over is that it has archery! Instead of using automatic pistols and rifles with auto aim which every other game in this category has, Ryu does it up ninja stylee with a bow and arrow, and I completely condone archery to be one of the slicker forms of hunting, and romance.
You also use many forms of ninpo (ninja magic) that range from lightning attacks, ice attacks and the all mighty fireball attacks that can help to eliminate those fucking muppets that think they can fuck wid you. You are a ninja damn it!
There all sorts of baddies in this game, dragons, dinosours, spider ninjas, vigorian emperors, the fucking devil. But no one can step up to Ryu cause he is the shit and will slice and dice their monkey ass. Anyways I can go on and on about this game for another month cause there is so much to tell but I just want to re-iterate that it is very different to most of the bet-em-up titles out there. The save points are few and far between so you have to carry on with your mission for a while sometimes, money is also scarce and equipment (like elixirs of life, devil elixirs) which are life and magic potions are also not so common. Alot of foresight and long term planning is needed for this game to complete and you really have to be quick. There is no time to admire the scenery, just slash, whirl and slap the bitches that come in your way. Alma is the hardest wench in the game (level 6 boss), it took me a week just to kill that skank and I almost gave up. But the dragon ninja star stuck deep inside my anus at birth started to rotate incessently and told me to pick up that controller and slash and sodomize her only the way a ninja would.
I saw shark tale. It rooled quite a bit. They caught De Niro so well, I was falbbergasted. I didn't know about having the main guy as a brother, although the mc hammer dance was quite rad.
Ok over and out. If anyone wants any tips on NG lemme know, I am now a master ninja and can solve all your ninja problems.
nope, sorry... you suck. This is all video game dork stuff. How did you get to my music page? Oh, and you said that your page is about how much you rule? Lemme show you a little trick about who rules and who is right.

go into ANY search engine and type in the words 'I am correct'

the first site that pops up, that is my main site. The phantom blog is just my music offshoot.

Cool dude...did you watch "Elephant" by Gus Van Sant? Another film about revenge and who rules in the end?
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Harro! Please. Come in. You look fab - o -lus! So hot right now. Have a fiddle around. Relieve your troubled self. Just check out the title of the page? Where've you seen that before? Hmmmm? Slouch right into that chair. Scratch what needs scratching. Smell what needs smelling. Enjoy the show!

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I rule all day everyday. I rule 100% 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. However, every four years, during a leap year I take one day off to rule 99%. If you want to challenge my ruling capacities, that is the only day to duel me to rule. Otherwise, I go back to regular ruling. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop ruling. I could rule everything in two words or less. If you'd like to see me in action, I will rule... all over your face.

This how I do

This who I roll wid