Armitage Shanks
  Angelina Jolie is a Goddess

Oh my god Angelina Jolie is so fine. No, she is not fine, she is gorgeous, spectacular, Godly even. And my standards for Godliness are high, cause I mylself am the centre of the universe.
But damn, the woman is genius. Those eyes. Even through a picture she looks like shes going to rip our your heart and suck on it with her gorgeous lips. I just want to eat her up with a spoon.
I wonder what she does when shes not working. I know she adopted a Cambodian kid called Maddox and dresses him up all punk n shit, but she must have a couple of nannies on diaper patrol and buying him the lastest Baby FCUK gear. What does she do on her downtime. I heard somewhere she likes the heavy shit. My nuts started tingling and bowels started rumbling. That makes her even kooler than I thought. Plus shes an ambassador of goodwill with the U.N, and she has a sic pad in the rainforests of Cambodia. No tv, radio, just rhesus monkeys and plenty of pho soup. She is definately kicks ass.
However, I am usually dissapointed when I see her flicks. She looks disgustingly brilliant in all of them but her roles have yet to give the motivation to truly appreciate her acting talents. Apart from Girl, Interrupted and offcourse Hackers (actually, she was kinda lame in that too, all rebel and dark but really a pink bunny on the inside) her movies blow. Maybe Alexander will get a thumbs up. The tomb raiders were too over the top, even for that genre. She pulls out an envelope and jumps off a skyscraper, and suddenly the envelope becomes a full fledged handglider. Barf.
I know if we met she would totally get down with me. I am so rad and she would think that as soon as she saw me and my fresh skills. Dyaam, I can just picture it now, she would come over, I would step out of my house and say 'you look stunning this evening;' put on the slickass British accent, and then impress her with all my kool tricks and skills. She wants me so bad, she just doesnt know it yet.
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